Hi! I’m Rachel, welcome to my blog!
I am a married mother of two small children from Essex in the UK. My husband and children are my heart, soul and my world. But that’s not to say that life is always easy or that motherhood is always a bed of roses. Let’s face it, even roses have thorns, if you think about it. Sleeping on a bed of roses would be uncomfortable and downright painful, wouldn’t it? And frustrating! Just as you got comfortable and started to slip into a lovely sleep you’d be rudely awoken! Hmmm…. Sound familiar? So actually, on reflection, perhaps parenting small children actually IS like a bed of roses!
Anyway, I digress. I’m prone to that.
I’ve been in so many situations over the past three and a half years that have caused me to feel inferior and inadequate as a parent. Well, actually, if I think about it, the situations themselves haven’t caused me to feel like that. Not even the mothers whose boastful, passive aggressive or even mean comments have caused me to feel bad. My reaction to their words has caused me to feel bad.
What I’m saying, and believe me when I say this is a massive work in progress for me, is that I can’t control the thoughtless or even rude comments that other people make. But I can work on controlling my reactions to them.
I am beginning to understand that most of what people say is not about me (or you), but is about themselves, reflecting their inner struggles on others. For example,the woman making thinly veiled judgements about your decision to bottle feed your baby, may actually be utterly exhausted from all of her night feeds, desperate for a break, dearly wishing that someone, anyone else could give her baby a feed so that she can get some rest. She may well be envious of you and your formula. But instead she makes a comment. You already feel guilty about being unable to breastfeed your baby. A snowball effect continues and your self-doubt spirals downwards, out of control.
Of course, this situation could have been completely avoided. As mums, it is not our place to judge one another, be it on feeding, weaning, potty training, sleep training techniques or any other of the plethora of parenting minefields out there. If we stick together, support one another, share our disaster stories as well as our joyful ones, no-one needs to feel lacking as a parent.
This is why I have called my blog Mummy Kindness. I really think we need to be kinder, not only to others but to ourselves. Remember that everyone is fighting their own battle, and sometimes it’s with themselves. Let’s all give ourselves a break, we’re doing our best, let’s do our best together.
PS…I’d absolutely love your feedback! Please leave me a comment!
PPS… You can also subscribe to Mummy Kindness by entering your email address, and also like the Facebook page here and you can follow me on Twitter too @mummykindness.
What a fab post and ethos. I’m totally with you there. All about being kind x
What a fab post and ethos. I’m totally with you there. All about being kind x
Thank you! Honesty and Kindness are the way forward! Loving the solidarity and sisterhood! Thanks for your support x
We’re such perfectionists and we never think we’re good enough. Being kind to ourselves is SO important and yet so hard to remember. Good sentiment for a blog 🙂
Hi Rachel, I suffered for over a year after having my son with terrible anxiety and panic attack my doctors as also put me on Citalopam and honesty say that it saved my life. As you say 4 years on its still work in progress so good to hear that I’m not alone. Keep up the blog xx
Hiya! I really like your blog and writing so I have nominated you for a Leibster award
Congratulations and keep those posts coming!
I love your philosophy, and totally agree! Being kind is so important. What a wonderful starting point for a blog xx
Thanks Kiran! Glad we fund each other’s blogs and looking forward to reading more from you, too.
Hi Rachel, I just found your lovely blog and would love to congratulate you for your honest thoughts on parenting. I also wanted to request your permission to use a few of your infographics/inspiring photos/quotes on my parenting page on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/ConsciousParentingApproach – with credits to you of course. Please pass by and say Hello to us…
Hi Lisha. I’d be thrilled for you to use any of my material on your page, please feel free. I’ll head over now and like your page from my personal profile.
Thanks for your lovely feedback,
Just in the process of having a look at your blog now. I really like how you think about parenting, and your supportive and kind approach. It is very refreshing to read about simply the need to be kind to one another as parents, and how important this is. Keep going! I will keep reading.
Megan x from: http://www.postcardstomysister.wordpress.com
A mutual friend of ours recommended your blog to me today. Having only just admitted to myself (and those around me) that I have PND, my friend said I would find your blog interesting. Well, having been reading away for the last hour or so, I can confirm that I not only find your blog interesting, I find it helpful, inspiring, heartwarming, funny, sad, truthful and very much needed! Thank you
Thank you so much, Lindsey. I really hope that now you’ve realised what’s going on you’re able to get the help you need. It’s a very cruel illness but it’s also very treatable too. So glad the blog is helping you and I wish you the speediest of recoveries xx
You’re right, kindness is completely undervalued and overlooked in our society.We’re taught to be vocal and opinionated if we want to make a difference. People who show gentle kindness are dismissed as weak or ‘walkovers’.
I learned only recently to foster a sense of kindness and compassion towards myself (through Mindfulness) and it’s made a huge difference to my mental health. How strange that we need to be taught something that occurs naturally and theoretically should flow from each of us into the world at large…
This really strikes a chord with me. I don’t have children, but you are so right about other peoples criticisms saying more about them than you. And that the only thing we can control is our reactions to them. So insightful, thank you!
Like the previous post, I have also recently discovered mindfulness, it’s wonderful. It is all about acceptance, enjoying what we already have instead of striving for more, accepting who we already are, and learning not to react to thoughts, they are just thoughts. I feel another blog post coming on!
Thank you again,
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Hi Mummy Kindness – I nominated you for the Sunshine blog award!!! Go to my blog post about the award to see the rules and grab the badge for your sidebar: http://silverliningsproject.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/a-blog-award/
I came across your blog via top tips for mums fb page. I love it and we’ll done for sharing your experiences as a mummy.
I had postnatal illness with both my children and am still on the anti-depressants. Life as a mummy is so hard and sometimes us mummies make it look like its easy when really we’re struggling. We also fall foul to judging other mums too. I love you blog for the ‘keeping it real’ element to it. If only all mums realised we’re in the same boat and none of us are perfect then the world within the mummy bubble would be a better place. I look forward to your blog updates x
Stumbled upon your blog today. Your “about page” could very well have been mine as I agree with you (and have posted much the same) on sooooo many points you make. I’m a “mom” but “mummy kindness” sounds wonderful 🙂
Thank you so much for following my blog!! I am grateful to Momastery for connecting us. I am honored to be Brave with you in our journeys through Hard Things! 🙂